Bad Day? Or A Turn For The Worse?

This morning I got up and immediately headed to the laundry room to let Bella start her day, usually by running to the front door, peeing on the front lawn, then running back up the stairs and back to the laundry room to eat.  But this morning was different- she was laying on the tile floor and was motionless.  When I called her name, her eyes moved to look at me, but her head stayed still.  No amount of coaxing ("Treats!", "Wanna eat?"...none of the usual) would get her moving.  I knew something had changed for the worse.

We eventually got her into the kitchen and from there she grudgingly moved to the porch and slowly down the steps to pee.  From there I got her in to eat (slowly...unlike her normal gulping) and from there she came into my office and laid in front of my desk.  She moved once to the floor near my closet, but otherwise has not moved. I sat beside her and slowly moved my hand across her side, noticing that she trembled when my had moved to her upper chest.  As soon as I moved away it stopped, but the trembling returned when my hand came back to a certain area.  It seemed to me that this was a sensitive, maybe painful area.  I also noticed earlier that when she stood she arched her back.

A call to Clarkesville Vet got us an immediate appointment and Dr. Parker did a thorough exam of Bella.  She noticed the trembling side and thought Bella was probably in some pain.  Given the length of time since Bella's initial diagnosis she thought it was likely a turn for the worse and that we should start considering her quality of life...a euphemism for "it's getting close to when we let her go".  I fought back the tears and asked if we could do anything to help her.  The answer was that we could try a pain med called Tramadol, which we agreed to so.

When we arrived home Bella needed help getting out of the SUV and it was clear she was not well.  She moved very slowly and tried to walk between some bushes that she shouldn't have.  I immediately gave her the recommended dose of Tramadol and it seemed to have a strong effect on her.  She's laying down near our bathroom and seems to be sleeping peacefully.

Bella spent all afternoon conked out near our bathroom and even at 5:00PM was unable to get on her feet.  A ham handed attempt to help her get up apparently touched a sensitive spot and she yelped.  Eventually we slid a bath towel under her abdomen and the two of us lifted her to her feet.  From there we went to eat-she attacked her food, and then outside for bathroom duties.  She hung out in the kitchen and beside the dining room table through dinner and eagerly accepted table scraps. 

Its now 7:00PM and she's laying down in my office. We confirmed again that she cannot get up on her own, so we slid the bath towel under her, got her up and convinced her to go outside to pee and poop.  She eagerly ate some more food and then joined us in the family room where she laid down.  This was to be the last food Bella would ever eat.  I think this is where she'll spend the night.

I've seen more weakness and vulnerability in my girl today that I've ever seen.  She had to be lifted in and out of my SUV and for the most part she was unable to stand on her own.  She's very weak and slow moving.  I doubt that this is just a bad day. Tonight Sherry and I had a talk about what "quality of life" means to us and what we think it means to Bella.

I am preparing for the end.