Its been three weeks since Bella left us. I have her ashes and distributed some of her over Bella's Corner near the barn, on the front yard and below the willow tree. The rest of her is on my nightstand where they've been a morning and night time reminder of her, though she's been in my thoughts every morning without any reminder necessary. This morning I scanned the pine trees to see if her silhouette is still there. It wasn't.
The title question popped into my mind this morning. There are lots of things that I absolutely do miss.
I miss our walks and watching her retrieve tennis balls. She put such energy and passion into it. She moved athletically and had so many sliding, leaping, twisting, turning, flipping moves and it was fun to watch her go at it. Sometimes she'd bungle a move and it would be embarrassing, but she was usually poetry in motion. As she matured she became a very powerful animal and watching her unleash that power and passion was so much fun.
I miss her working us for treats. She loved Milk Bones and she had ways of begging for them that were interesting. She'd lay on the floor in front of the laundry room (where her treats were stored) and stare at me. Sometimes she'd bark. Once she saw a connection between a treat and an action (like coming back into the house) the treat thing was one way....she'd NEVER pass a chance at that treat. The instant she thought there was a treat coming, she'd salivate and would lick her snout...her anticipation was clear. I don't regret a single treat I ever gave her.
For the past few years, every time I'd eat an apple Bella would either see, smell or hear me and come running to me. She'd learned that I was going to share the apple with her and she loved apples. This afternoon I decided to have an apple and my first thought was...Bella will want some of it.
I loved the feel of her muscular body and her sculpted head and ears. The back of her head came to a beautiful point and I miss the feel of this point. I miss holding, grooming, massaging and petting her. She loved certain of these activities, but HATED grooming. OTOH, she LOVED being massaged and would stand for 20 minutes or more.
I miss the daily activity around caring for her...feeding, filling water supply, taking her out for 1&2, scooping her poop, telling her "kennel" at night (if you waited long enough she'd go by herself) and getting her out each morning by 7:00AM at the latest.
I miss her beautiful reddish blonde coat. I'd often find myself staring at her coat; admiring the various textures and colors. I loved the soft curls on her ears and smooth fur on her head.
I miss fighting with her over grooming. She hated it and it made it difficult to keep her coat in the condition I'd have liked. Still, it was her coat and I figured that if it got bad enough, I'd just cut it off. Seemed to work for us.
I miss the mental connection we had. She was extremely obedient and almost never needed to be corrected. The hand signal system we developed to help her locate a "lost" tennis ball worked well and it was fun to have her look at me, asking for and accepting my help finding her ball.
I miss taking her for rides. These were sometimes in my SUV, but mostly in the Kubota RTV. She LOVED to ride seated next to me and I usually draped my arm over her shoulder to ensure that she could not slip out.
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